Suited
by Pifagikuus
Summary: College au. It all begins with Howard Starks 50th. Loki finds out who he really is, Tony is jealous of his new found relationship. But when Loki's suitor is found out, Tony's fate may change... M for later chapters...
1. Chapter 1

"Yeah sure why not… It's not like I have anything better to do, these classes are pretty dull anyway."

"Tony come on, you may be a genius but you've still gotta study? I guarantee it'll be way more fun than that party, pretty please?" The girl winked at him, she had no interest in study either, but it was always a good cover. Pepper rolled her eyes at the blonde caressing an applied physics book, trying too hard to seem seductive. The blonde's cronies all joined in, giggling.

"How they even know what a book is beats me…" Pepper mumbled, agitated. This was a library, honestly. Tony smirked at this

"Uh, mom, I just remembered I have so much catching up to do with astronomy…"

"Anthony Edward Stark, you've been doing astronomy since you were knee high, you can bring Ms Potts along if it kills you so much to be away from her, but it would really mean a lot to your father." His mother never stopped teasing him about her, since he was fifteen. They lived in each-others pockets, tried dating last year but broke it off when she met another guy. They were better as friends, and he preferred it that way.

"Look mom, I doubt dad would notice if I was there or not and whether Pepper even wants to go is another matter entirely…" He broke off when he saw Pepper's desperation to go anywhere so they could avoid the loose gang of bimbo's that followed him all over campus. His mother was silent.

"Fine, we'll be there at nine."

"There's my boy, invite a few more if you wish there is plenty of space."

"Half of New York is coming, where are you gonna put us?"

"Nine Tony, look smart."

"Fine, nine, bye."

"Thank god." Pepper stood up grabbing her satchel and shoving her books in. She made to leave, Tony giving her a puzzled look as she walked out.

"Where are you going it's half three?"

"What do you mean? I have to get ready? Are you not coming? Ugh typical." She lolled her head and waved her hand dismissively.

"I'll pick you up at half eight. Tell the rest."

"Fine."

Tony grinned, walking back to his little gang.

"Tony you're so smart, what does this mean…?" One of the blondes reached her hand up Tony's chest, book in hand. He chuckled at the sudden and forward contact.

"QUIET!" The middle-aged campus librarian, wearing her long plaid brown skirt and frumpy jumper hissed at Tony, pointing her finger to the door. The group giggled, leaving Tony smiling sheepishly up at her.

"Sorry ladies, maybe some other time?"

"Sure thing genius" The alpha bimbo winked, laughing like an idiot as Tony grabbed his belongings and backed away. He winked right back, half grinning, making them laugh hysterically. This made the angry librarian chase after him until he was outside in the sun. "OUT!" Tony threw his hands up defensively, grinning all the same. He wasn't looking forward to tonight.


	2. Dinner Date

He arrived back at his dorm, with a newspaper in hand. He opened the door, using his phone to scan his way in. He came up with the idea two years ago, now it had spread like wildfire through the Uni. The living room was empty, the kitchen lights were on, and a foul smell reached his nose from within. He put a forearm up to his face, trying to block out the smell. The newspaper had details of the extravagant party that was to be held at Stark mansion later that evening, he threw it on the couch in disgust. 50 years old and yet still, he had barely shown any feelings toward his only son.

"Anthony?" Tony groaned at this, hearing the deep throated growl come from the kitchen. Trust the ones from out of town never to falter in calling him by his full name. He walked through the living room, heading straight to the smoking kitchen. The fire alarm went off, making Tony even more on edge.

"What the hell did you do?" Tony strode in, grabbing a towel and waving it at the alarm in some attempt to shutting it up. This failed, so he grabbed the spatula and wacked the noisy hell raiser until it dropped to the floor and slowly died out. The smoke began to fill the living room, leaving a dull haze to form in the atmosphere. Thor's usually bright face had been blackened with charcoal and whatever other concoctions he had decided to stink the place out with.

"I apologize for the mess I've made Stark, Loki left me with instructions but I have honestly no idea what this microweave does."

"What do you use to cook food in? Where is Loki and why are you smoking out my flat?"

"Loki has gone into town to get something formal to wear, I have a date with Jane, and he said I could use your place to have the… have the date here." Thor seemed confused for a moment, unsure of what he was trying to say, but then beamed a smile when he finished. "I hope you don't mind…" He asked genuinely. He really did have the sincerity of a toddler sometimes, he meant everything he said with barely any recognition to humour at all. Tony stood there in disbelief, Pepper could have only told Loki in less than an hour and yet Thor had somehow managed to bring Armageddon upon the kitchen. He brushed past him inspecting the damage. There was black pasta stuck around the sides of a waterless saucepan. That would explain the smoke, and sauce that was green, that didn't look too good. Then he bent down to the oven, which looked like something out of a horror film, the part where the bad guy gets the knife out. The walls inside of it were dripping with an exploded cake mixture and the cake tin was empty. Now, to inspect the microwave.

"Thor… where's the door to the microwave?" He looked at the metal box, which now only had three walls.

"Oh… right yes. Here you go." He rummaged through the white smoke until he found it by the sink.

"You know, you're not actually supposed to unhinge the door, you press this button, and it pops open." He could see the scratch marks where Thor had pulled it off.

"Oh, It came off so easy, I assumed it did. I'm sorry… Can any of it be used again?"

"Yeah I'll just get the screwdriver it'll be fine."

"Will that serve as some sort of spoon? Or a meat checker?"

"What? Oh you mean the food? Oh, yeah no. That's all well and truly, gone." Tony giggled, surprised Thor was actually convinced it stood a chance. Thor's eyes widened, he was stressed out. He put his hands through his hair, beginning to pull it out, a huge frown sat on his face.

"What on earth have you done brother? I've been gone for an hour." Loki closed the door, seeing Thor immediately through the fog. He spotted Tony next, who was sniggering in the background in an effort to stop the tears rolling down his face, he'd never seen such a hopeless case. Tony was bad but, this was on a whole new level. The smoke alarm still lay on the floor, now just before Loki's feet. He shook his head, not bothering to deal with it and walked into his bedroom to drop off his suit.

Tony opened the window and watched through stingy eyes as the last wasps of smoke exited the kitchen. The sight was horrific, utensils flung in every direction, grease and food marks covered almost everything and the green bleach looking sauce had overflown onto the electric hob, slowly dribbling its way to the tiled floor. Tony turned everything off and removed the now blackened pasta pot away from any heat and threw it into the sink. Thor stood dumbfounded by the amount of mess he had made in a short space of time. He slowly took the microwave door and tried fixing it back onto its resting place, and kept trying to do so in a state of shock before Tony lowered his huge arms and made him leave it down. By now Tony was gasping and contorting at the same time, his snuffled laughter finally breaking through. Thor only stared around the room in utter disbelief.

Loki reappeared, his suit on and his green bow tie hanging loose by his neck. Tony looked at him, gobsmacked. He looked terrific, the lapels lined with a shinier black material, as well as all of the linings, and the stitching was all in green. His black hair was combed back and his shoes were like something the presidents body guards would wear, shined within an inch of their lives. His cuffs shone with silver, magnificent… Tony only stared now, his mouth slightly opened and his eyes wide. Thor didn't even notice his brother, he was too caught up in the kitchen havoc. Loki wore a contemptuous expression, his eyes pained by the mess. He shot Tony a look, not interested with the man's admiring on looks.

"Honestly, Thor. You are so dim when it comes to the kitchen. Are you seriously idiotic enough to put no water in with the pasta ugh! And why aren't you ready Anthony? You have two hours left! GO!" Tony snapped out of it as Loki pointed a finger to his bedroom, willing him to finally get ready.

"But there's two hours left? I could help Thor…" Tony whined, he was like Pepper with timing.

Loki only glared at him, not dropping his finger. "You're suit is on your bed."

"A suit? Alright alright!"

"Now. Jane will be here in less than three hours what are we going to do about it."

"Order in?"

"Foolish brother you'll never win her over with pizza." Loki growled low, extremely annoyed that his brother couldn't even make pasta. He grabbed another saucepan from the cupboards, starting again. Thor only sat back and watched, scared to touch anything in case Loki threw something at him.

Tony looked at the suit, it was new, with an inscription on the bag.  
_"I told Loki it was on anyway, because I knew he'd make you go,  
Lots of love,  
Mom."_

Tony put the note on the table, smiling. His mother loved Loki, well most mothers tend to. He would be the perfect son in their eyes. He opened the bag to find a very plain looking black suit. The inside of it was lined with a blood red colour. The bow tie was black with red lining, and then he noticed the buttons. They were all red too. The trousers, their pockets lined with the same colour red, and even the insides of the shoes and their soles. Was there some sort of theme? Favourite coloured dress code… imaginative. Oh, his mother's will be teal. Loki's was green, obviously. Pepper's was purple. Ugh, how to make an event even less classy. He got into the shower, washing the smoke from his body, relaxing his sore eyes from the fumes. His whole body eased as if he had just been through an excruciating work out at the gym.

When he was finally ready and dressed, wearing his striking suit and some aftershave Pepper had bought him for his birthday, he walked out to find Thor setting the table and Loki bringing food to it. It smelt heavenly, Tony sniffed the air, walking like a zombie towards it, but was caught by the neck by Thor who threw him back. It was a little too harsh and Tony went flying into the couch, taken by surprise. Thor was so strong he forgot sometimes.

"Sorry…" Thor grinned, seeing that Tony was alright. Loki smirked, putting the plates on the table. He was stricken by Tony's dashing suit, nodding his head in approval.

"Right that should be enough to do you both. Do not touch anything in that kitchen again do you hear? And do you remember how to open the wine bottle? Very good. Now, as for you, we must go and get Pepper and Natasha. Clint couldn't make it. Come on."

"Okay, then, now? Its eight?"

"Get up." Tony followed like a dog, not wanting to take him on. "Bye Thor." Tony waved his hand at the huge boulder, who was now dangerously close to breaking the bottle and not opening it. But he let it slide and walked out, just as Thor screamed profanities as the glass cut his hand.

"PEPPER PEPPER PEPPER PEPPER PEPPER!"

"WHAT!" She slammed the door open, her face angered for being rushed.

"You're still not ready? Loki's gonna be pissed." He backed away from the door, Natasha walked past him and took the front seat. Pepper grabbed her coat and shoved past Tony. Natasha was wearing black, her favourite colour, and Pepper in purple, her favourite colour.

"Hey that's my seat Tash." He called, but he had already lost with the look on Romanoff's face.

"Just get in Anthony."

"Oh great you're turning into Shakespeare over here and all." He kicked Loki's seat, annoyed he was in the back, and glared at Pepper.


	3. The Party Begins

"Tony!" Maria Stark ran over to her son, pulling him into an embrace. She was a little drunk, but she smelt nice. The house was alive with animated chatter and the occasional howl of laughter here and there. A jazz band played in the corner, the double bass bouncing rich melodies around the white wash walls. A caterer handed him and the rest of his party a glass of champagne. Maria led Tony to where Howard was conversing with a group of overweight business owners.

"Ah, and this must be the famous Anthony Stark!" A number of them turned as his mother pushed him towards his father. They all shook his hand, fake smiles plastering their faces.

"Tony, you came!" Howard Stark did not hug his son, but instead smiled, and shook his hand like he was another one of the faceless men surrounding him. Tony smiled back, it didn't reach his eyes. Loki tapped him from behind, handing him a small gift wrapped in an expensive emerald papering. He winked before Howard saw him, and left. Tony turned back to his dad, the little card neatly placed inside the ribbon read '_To dad, happy birthday, love your son, Tony." _Tony cringed at the italic hand writing and general phrasing of the card, but handed it over nevertheless. Howard was taken aback, staring at the parcel for a moment or two before giving thanks.

"Anyway, Mr Stark, we shall be over with the Mayor, he shall need to be informed also."

"Yes thank you, gentlemen." Howard smiled, watching as they walked away with a clouded expression.

"Who were they?" Tony asked, puzzled by the look on his fathers face.

"Nobody you need to worry about just yet." Howard smiled warmly, toying with the box. "Thank you, by the way." Tony turned his attention back to the box. Wow this was awkward, he thought. Howard slit the paper, revealing a silver metal box. It had a number of small lights on it, all of which were green and red. It was almost like a miniature treasure chest, had it not been for the flat top. Howard opened it, looking inside. "That's really something Tony… thanks." Tony looked up, trying to get a look. What the hell was it? I didn't get it… What did Loki do? He was shocked that his dad was surprised, and genuinely thankful for something _he _had done… well not him entirely. Howard closed the box, putting it on the inside of his jacket pocket, then placed a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Anyway, you don't happen to remember a man called Obadiah do you? You may have met once when you were younger." Well the surprise couldn't last forever, he thought, but whatever was in the box was starting to annoy him now.

"Howard, happy birthday! Oh and Tony, we meet again." Tony looked back at his father, not recognising the man dressed in a beige three-piece.

"I can't say I remember you, sorry, but nice to meet you." Tony shook the man's hand, a kind smile flashed on his face.

"I'm sorry Tony, but, you wouldn't mind allowing us to discuss some business? I'll get back to you later okay?" Howard looked at Tony, giving him his window of opportunity to leave.

"Oh, right yeah sure, seeya later." He waved, walking away to find Loki. He found Pepper instead. She was sitting next to an army general who was in full uniform and discussing air raids from World War II.

"And you see, Hitler was an excellent leader, but a very-" Pepper was about to fall asleep, the man never stopped.

"May I have this dance Ms Potts? Excuse us." He smiled at the general, holding out his right hand to Pepper, who grabbed it and didn't look back only to quickly thank him for such an intriguing history lesson.

"You never liked history."

"I still don't." Tony placed his right hand to the small of her back, swaying to the music. She felt a surge of electricity run up her spine from his touch on her bare skin. His other hand holding hers. He flashed his perfect teeth, making her blush. She didn't feel that way for him anymore… but old feelings die hard. Tony felt the same, although it seemed as if there was always something there with a Pepper, like a massive cloud preventing him from ever feeling like she was the only one for him, a missing piece. He broke the silence first, both of them glad of it.

"Where's Loki?" He asked, searching her eyes. She didn't answer for a minute while she looked back into his.

"Oh… um, I think he met Steve… you know from first year in college?"

"Rogers? What's he doing with him…?" Tony was vaguely interested about Steve, but he had to figure out what was in that box, it was really eating at him.

"I don't know really, but I left them to it. They were both… flirting. I know Steve's gay but is Loki?"

"No, I don't think so…" They both stole a glance, how the hell would he know? Now that you mention it, he never once had a girlfriend, despite the amount of attention he got from most of them.

"Hmm… what about Natasha?"

"Oh her, she dumped me with captain boring over there to meet Clint. He came after all."

"Aw diddums. Poor Pepper." He sympathised sarcastically, she scowled.

"Don't do that it doesn't suit you." Which made her scowl more. The music had changed and they were dancing in completely the wrong time, which others hadn't failed to notice. Maria gestured towards her son to up the tempo a little, before there was a traffic incident with the amount of people they were holding up. Tony quickly took the hint, dancing at a faster pace. Pepper hadn't noticed and before she knew it she was being jumped to and fro suddenly. "HEY!" she hissed at him. He started doubling up with laughter, his mother looking at him in disapproval. He walked her away from the dance floor and they sat down again, finding a plump older woman joining them as soon as their butts touched the seats. She rambled on for what seemed like hours about her old cat, Tibbles. Who died randomly of AIDS. They tried to look interested but Pepper eventually fell asleep on Tony's shoulder, leaving him to deal with her.

He eventually spotted the trio standing a way back, laughing at Tony's current predicament. Another older lady had decided to join him and the pair nattered on about the best way to repair old socks. He growled at them, as they wouldn't come any further. They were what age now? GROW UP he mouthed, wishing them to come and help him out. Loki eventually strode over, Tony glared at him the whole way, and asked could he and his friends be excused from their company. The ladies agreed, and then they caught Loki out, who was not the type to upset old ladies, so his feet stood rooted to the spot.

"I'm sure Ginger was a great mouser, but-"

"And did you know young man that some rats carry diseases!"

"Yes, I was in fact aware of that but-"

"And Tibbles was the best in our neighbourhood for it!"

"I respectfully disagree Merium I think Ginger and Louse were wonderful-"

"That may be so Margaret but Tibbles had four rows of excellent sharp teeth-"

"FOUR! Utter lies utter lies-"

"Excuse me Margaret but I believe-"

Loki backed away slowly, leaving the pair to waffle on. He quickly found the other four and they cleared far away from the tables altogether. They contained either batty old women or angry and bitter ex-army generals.

"Hey, um, so… you'll call me later?"

"Oh, yeah sure. Goodbye" Loki smiled at the man to his right, who had appeared out of thin air. Steve nodded to Tony, turning to go.

"Who was that?" Natasha and Pepper chimed in, making Loki blush.

"Oh just some guy I met…" The pair looked at each other, confused.

"Steve… so you… like him?" Pepper was digging, she had to know though. Loki had turned beetroot.

"I don't know…" He didn't know what to say, they had no idea that he wasn't straight. Thor didn't even know.

"What do you mean you don't know? We've known you for two years now, and you never thought to bring this up?" Natasha was jutting in now too, shocked.

"Its n-not that important…" But he didn't continue in fear of what the two ladies would do, as they glared him down. But they retracted their gazes when Tony broke the silence.

"Leave him alone, you're like eagles fighting over a piece of meat." He gave Loki a look, wow, Loki was gay. Not that there was anything wrong with it, in fact if anything girls never seemed to suit him. Loki gave a look of thanks back as the two girls fell back without a word.

The rest of the night wasn't as bad, the music was good and they danced their feet off. Tony even danced with his mother, whilst the others cooed in the corner over how cute he was. His father blew out fifty candles on a three tiered cake, and after 1:00 when everyone was completely intoxicated, they had the best fun they had in weeks. There were conked out grannies everywhere and the army general had fell asleep into his chair. Leaving the younger people to enjoy the rest of the night. Tony forgot altogether about the box, even when his father had joined him and his friends over drinks. Loki and he were extremely excited over a recent discovery in New Mexico, an odd form of copper extracted from the ground. Tony joined in a few times only to drop out and fall back asleep with Pepper by his side. A cab took them back to their dorms, at around half five, ordered by the caterers, who eventually themselves had to half carry Tony to the car with Loki.


	4. Good Afternoon, Steve

"Get up! Thor's already been over, you can go back now."

"What… oh my head." Pepper threw Tony's shirt at him, he was draped over the couch and Loki was curled up in a ball in one of the smaller chairs. They had somehow miraculously ended up in Pepper's flat last night, giving Jane and Thor some privacy. Tony took his shirt and whipped it over his head, his stomach churning with every sudden movement. He winced, the alcohol was taking its toll. Loki never drank much but last night must have been an exception, he looked worse off than Tony. His thin form twisted into a very uncomfortable looking position, his eyes had extremely dark circles and bags big enough to shop with.

"Come on lightweight, Pepper's kicking us out."

"Oh he can stay if he wants, at least he doesn't snore." It must be PMS he thought, she was in such a bitchy mood. He grumbled, looking at his watch. Jane must be an early bird, it was only half past nine on a Saturday. Thanks Thor, he thought. As soon as he got back to his room he was going back to sleep. He nudged Loki, who woke violently, staring around him with eyes as big as an owls, wide open. He pulled his jacket over his head, groaning.

"Leave him be, Tony you're so mean."

"For the record, this is the worst B&B ever Pepper, you'd be a terrible hostess." He gave her a cheeky grin before legging it out the door, narrowly missing a pillow. When he got outside he wheezed, the fast movements making him shake and ache. He stood up straight, powering back to his flat like a wounded soldier who'd been through every war. When he got inside, he jumped on top of the bed, falling into a deep dreamless sleep, not even noticing the mess left by Thor and Jane in the living room.

Tony woke four hours later, to find Steve standing in his kitchen. He always stood so straight. Chill out a little, Tony thought. He smiled, about to ask why he _was_ in his kitchen, but saw Loki walk past in a red campus jumper and some black jeans. His brain clicked when he saw the awkward look on Steve's face, Tony was just staring at him in his boxers and shirt, as if he was expecting something. He realised what he was doing though when Loki coughed, looking up at him. He quickly jumped from one foot to the next, finding it hard not to laugh awkwardly, to break the tension.

"Okay, anyway, see you later…" Loki was barely surprised by Tony's mechanisms. He just took him as he was, how else could someone live with a man like Stark. Steve seemed a little uncomfortable around Loki when Tony was there, not sure how to act. Loki walked past Tony, heading for the door, Steve in tow.

"Oh… okay, I guess… see you later." Tony felt hurt, he didn't know why, but said nothing as Loki nodded his head, muddled. He frowned at him, not understanding what was going on with him. Loki felt excited, this was his first date in almost a year, and he actually like Steve. They were only going to the common hall to talk over notes but maybe they could get some lunch together. Steve was funny, charming. He was thrilled to have another man in his life that wasn't Tony, Thor or Clint. They walked out together, talking animatedly down the corridor, becoming harder and harder to hear.

Tony rubbed the back of his head, not sure what to do with himself now that Loki was gone. They usually talked over their notes, and he would always help him with chem, but now he was on his own. What was he supposed to do? He still never found out what was inside that box, which was annoying him even more now. He decided to make something, he was so bored. What could he make out of a damaged microwave and some scraps…


	5. Time To Tell

"Look, Steve, I'm not like that, that's a completely-hey! Cut that out okay?" Tony fended himself by blocking his face with his arms, trying his best to prevent what was coming.

"Aw c'mon… Don't say that. I've seen those looks Tony, I'm not stupid." Steve smiled, taking a hold of Tony's arms. He was so strong, he barely had to try to move his arms before they were pinned behind him on the couch. He leant in, an inch away from his nose.

"GET OFF! What are you even-! Loki! Think about Loki!" Tony struggled but Steve showed no mercy. It was making him smile more, knowing Tony was powerless.

"Loki doesn't have to know…" Steve crushed his mouth against his, moving one hand to his face, feeling the stubble under his palms. Tony clenched the couch top, his eyes shot open. Steve had mounted him, his own legs between Steve's. Tony could barely move, his free arm was now trying to push him off, but he'd need another before he could make any effect whatsoever. Steve pushed harder, his mouth forcing Tony's to open. He let his tongue explore his mouth, moving against Tony's ever still one. Tony felt like he could burst, it had been two weeks since these two had started dating and everything had been going great. Loki was happy, Steve was happy. Tony wasn't happy that Loki was gone most of the time but he was happy for Loki, it's not like he'd say anything. Steve was ever as forceful, pulling Tony's outstretched arm and palm from his chest lower. Tony had had no idea about how strong Steve really was, almost as strong as Thor himself. He had next to no power against him, as his other hand was still pinned beneath Steve's.

He finally stopped kissing Tony, when he realised Tony hadn't kissed him back. Or had he? He wasn't sure. He must have, how could he resist? He looked at him, smiling innocently. Tony couldn't even manage to put across his anger over his face, he was shell shocked. He was so confused, what had just happened? What would Loki say! He'd never forgive Steve. He was so vulnerable, he'd seen him cry at the Notebook for Christ's sake. Steve dismounted him, picking up his leather jacket and slipping into it, he stood over Tony, still smiling. Tony only stared forward, looking at the wall lamp behind him.

"I'll see you later." Steve smirked, opening the door and walking out of the flat. Tony's chest was rising quite quickly, he was breathing so heavy and he hadn't even noticed. What was he going to do? How would he tell Loki? Where even was Loki? It was lashing down outside, hailstones hit off the windows like gunfire. The sound was amazing along with the howling wind. No, there has got to be a way he could fix this without Loki finding out. He felt like crap, he knew this was low, even for him. Technically it wasn't his fault but he should have been more obvious. He should have made it clear to Steve he wasn't in to him, how he had led him was a mystery in the first place but, he shouldn't have. This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't.

He decided to wait until Loki came back. They were all going out tonight, it was Saturday and they hadn't been out together since that stupid party where they met. Thor would be there this time, maybe he could tell him. Thor be blinded with rage though, and Tony had no idea whether it would stop when it came to him. In Thor's eyes Tony would be just as much to blame as Steve. No, he'd wait until Loki came back. Or maybe Steve would tell him… All he had to do was wait.

But Loki never came back. It had been three hours and Tony's phone had been buzzing in the corner. It was Pepper, looking for him. He hadn't answered. He was pacing back and forth in front of the bathroom door, stressed out. Loki hadn't come back, he had no way to tell him before they left for the club. What was he supposed to do now? He finally picked up the phone, Pepper wasn't taking no for an answer.

"What!" Tony practically screamed down the phone, then covered his mouth when he realised.

"So sorry for bothering you." Pepper sounded hurt, surprised by the unfamiliar outburst from her ex.

"Sorry, Pepper I have a lot on my mind…" Nice, it'll be hard to redeem that.

"Whatever. Where are you we've been waiting for half an hour." Should he go? Maybe he should just wait it out here. But then Loki mightn't come home, he'd probably stay in Steve's.

"I don't think I'm gonna-"

"NO. He's going whether he likes it or not, stop being such a grunger Tony!" Loki shouted over the phone, mock-anger colouring his English accent.

"Yeah Tony, get out!" Pepper giggled. Tony was sweating now, rubbing his neck.

"F-fine I'll be right down."

"Hurry your ass, the taxi driver is getting pretty pissed." And with that she hung up, closing the conversation.

Tony ran into his bedroom, grabbing a hoodie jacket and a pair of black chuck's. He pulled up the hood and ran out of the flat, shivering in the cold outside the door. He found them all in the common room. Pepper looked amazing, as usual, as did Loki… Clint and Natasha were lying together, pretending to snore as Thor continued to talk about something. Steve wasn't there. Tony walked awkwardly and stood, pulling down his hood. They all looked at him, annoyed.

"You're almost an hour late and _that's _what your wearing?" Pepper gave him a look.

"Honestly Tony you have no style." Loki rolled his eyes.

"Look can we just get over it and go?" Tony hadn't meant for it to come out so harsh, but Loki looked taken aback as Tony threw up his hood again and walked out. He was wearing an okay pair of jeans what else did they want. They all followed him to the cab, a seven seater. Thor crammed his way into the back with Tony, who was smashed up against the window. Loki sat in the front with the cab driver, the other three in the back. Maybe Steve wasn't going, and he could talk to Loki when they got home privately. There was no reason he'd have to destroy his night.


	6. Goodnight Tony

"Hey you. What took you so long? This is Josh." Steve slid his arm around Loki's waist, smiling that winning smile at him, almost as though nothing had happened.

"Your coat?" A man in a black suit stood next to a stricken Tony, who stood numbly beside Pepper. "Sir?"

"What? Oh yeah sure." The man took his coat, giving it to a woman behind a large counter next to the shining bronze doors. Steve quickly glanced at Tony, whose stare was cold. He looked back to Loki whom was demanding his attention, Loki gave a look in Tony's direction too, who was still staring at Steve. He was confused, what is _up_ with him? Ever since they started dating he's been like this. The amount of times… it's not worth mentioning, he thought. He shook his head, smiling at Steve again.

"C'mon, let's get a table." Pepper grabbed Tony, hooking her arm in his. The best thought that crammed into Tony's head all night was to get completely wasted and worry about everything when he woke up. He was set on it. At least he wouldn't be able to think anymore.

"Okay! Who wants what?" Tony boomed, everyone beaming up at him, he was always the first to pay, and the second, and then the third. In fact, he didn't recall anyone paying for a round until the fifth. And by then he was completely spent so he had no real way of telling he hadn't stopped.

"Um… three shots for those three, you choose they don't know, a G&T for me… Loki?"

"I'm fine, thanks. I'm not feeling up for it just yet."

"Aw c'mon, loosen up a bit!"

"No no no no! How about you Steve? Josh?"

"If it's no trouble, coke and vodka." Steve smiled at Tony, that same one from before, showing no recognition. Tony shivered with anger, the nerve of him! There was a tense moment as Tony glared him down, how could he do this to his friend?

"I'll have a shot too… I hear your good at choosing, so be my guest." Josh was Irish, it seemed. He coughed nervously, breaking the silence.

"Right, right." Tony walked away, heading towards the bar. The barman smiled, throwing a tumbler in the air and rolling it down his arm. Tony smiled, watching it fall into his hands again and pour into a triangular glass.

"Hey." 'James' red on his name tag. He was six feet at least, his hair brown, so thick, with chocolate brown eyes almost as deep as Tony's. Heavy built but not as big as Thor, or Steve for that matter…

"Hi." Tony put his best smile on, trying to dazzle him, impress him. What are you doing? He thought. How was he capable of flirting. Never mind the fact he was straight. The bartender handed over the drink to a red headed girl who had been trying to get his attention since she arrived. But James eye was caught on Tony. He smirked, his voice was so husky.

"What can I get you?" He spread his hands over the bar, leaning his head out. The blonde became fed up, not bothering to leave a tip due to the newly inflicted hurt from the ever-so-handsome James.

"Seems you have an admirer, well, had." Tony smirked back, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, you know, can't please them all. Besides she's not really my type." He smiled. Tony knew where this was going, his head snapping back into reality just as he remembered what he was doing. He stumbled, grabbing hold of himself.

"James? Stop flirting with the customers, I need you out back for a second!"

"I get off at twelve. Here's my number." James scribbled it down on a serviette handing it to Tony before he could refuse. He wasn't going to call him… he felt bad now. Great. James sprinted to the back door, sliding under the arm of security into the office. Tony stared after him, serviette in hand, mouth slightly open, trying to get the words out but he was too late. James had disappeared.

"Mr Stark?"

"Um… two Alabama Slammers, one Purple Haze, a G&T, a coke and vodka, two Fireballs, and just keep me going with a few Tequila Slammers. I would like a few before heading back." Tony smiled, taking the first of his drinks and knocking it back as the bartender gave him a questioning look and threw the rest of the drinks together. Tony shot the next one, and then another. He could feel the alcohol swimming in his veins, burning the back of his neck. He felt completely the same.

"Will that be all?" The bartender hadn't bothered to bring the drinks to him, he sent them down to the table with another server and waited on Tony.

"Ehem maybe just give m-me another, one of those." He felt woozy, that was fast. Even for him. The bartender slid another one over, it glided down the silver table. He picked it up and knocked it down. "Send a… Tootsie Roll to the table, do you have a machine?"

"Yes, sir. Here we are." He handed over the card machine, Tony punched in the numbers wearily. "Send down a West Coast Cooler, the usual, for Loki too. He'll drink it sooner or later."

"Alright-y. Thank you Mr Stark." Tony smiled, it was the same place they started off every time. Usually working their way up through the clubs on the street before six am.

Tony let go of the bar, stumbling back to the table. Keep it together, you haven't had that much. He straightened himself up, walking steadily back to the group, who were all laughing and talking. He joined in a drunken debate with Thor. The man may be huge but he could never hold his drink, it was hilarious. Two shots and he was gone. His eyes spun back into his head, his booming voice getting ten decibel's louder with every shot. Pepper, she had had the one G&T for the last hour, and was barely affected by it. She was chatting animatedly with Natasha and Clint. Loki hadn't touched his drink, but Steve had. He was on his third, wheezing his laughter as Josh ran in the opposite direction to the bathroom. "OTHER WAY!" Josh waved a hand in appreciation, whizzing around and slamming into the wall. Loki rolled his eyes. Tony put a sloppy arm around Pepper, who gently tried to brush it off. She wasn't a fan of drunk Tony when she was still sober.

"What…?" Tony slurred, he couldn't think straight, but he felt a sudden urge of desire to just hug her. He threw his other arm around her, pulling her into an embrace. Natasha and Clint laughed as Pepper tried desperately to shove him off, but he was stronger than her. The couple went quiet as they watched them. Tony tried to kiss Pepper's neck, but he had gotten too close for comfort. He just wanted her, there and then. He couldn't even see what he was doing. Clint and Natasha were sniggering in the corner, thinking it was just a joke. Pepper sat up, hot and flustered as Tony let go of her and knelt down on his knees, smiling drunkenly up at her.

"Get up!" She hissed, what on earth was he doing? This was not a Tony she was familiar with. Tony just had to say something, anything. For this moment in time, he just felt a surge of emotion for his best friend. He couldn't control himself. He was completely drunk, and had no intelligible thoughts. This day had been so weird, why not make it weirder?

"Pepper…P-potts." He giggled, oh god, she thought. She smiled trying to pass it off. Everyone had stopped to listen. In the background the music blared, people were shouting and singing along to the music, the lights were whirring around the place, making Tony dizzier.

"Um… Hehe… EVERYBODY! Oops" He shouted by accident, what was he doing.

"Tony, shh… You've had a lot to drink, now get up before you make an absolute tit of yourself!" She whispered down to him, trying her best to pull her hands from his and get him standing again.

"Y-you're right, r-right. Aw Pep's I'm s-sorry. Am I embarrassing you? Ooopsies… But b-but, I just, I just gotta say this… okay? Is that okay? Are you sure? Okay? I'm gonna say it. P-Pepper Pawwts.." He wheezed laughter, the whole table had become lost in a fit of sniggering between Clint and Natasha. Loki stared, closing his eyes, wonderful. Thor sat back in his chair, eyes closed. He was already asleep. Steve glared at him. He couldn't be doing what he thinks he might be doing. He better not.

"I L-lo- LOVE you, so so much!"

"I love you too honey now c'mon, get up." Pepper laughed nervously, still trying to pull him up.

"Hey hey hey! I'm n-not finished. Ms Pootts? W-would, you like to merry me?" Tony looked up at her with half open eyes, still grinning cockily. There, he said it. Why did I say that? It doesn't matter, I did, that's what matters. Wait… But before Tony could try and think, Pepper had stood up, finally pulling him up with her. Everyone gasped. Steve looked away, knowing Tony was drunk but it still hurt. Natasha and Clint stared at Pepper mouths open. They didn't know whether to laugh or give out. Loki looked at Tony, feeling strangely odd. He hadn't been bothered by Tony's relationship with girls before, especially not Pepper's. They were friends… Did he really love her? He looked away, looking at the ground as Pepper sighed into her chest.

"O-KAY! I think you've had a little bit too much, maybe we should get back?"

"Hmm maybe that's a go-oo-od idea… we can discuss-ss this when we do…" Tony stumbled, falling into Clint as he helped keep him standing.

"I'll get a cab for you two." Natasha ran out and called one over for them, running back in just as Josh came back, almost in one piece.

"W-what'd I-I miss?" He plonked down into Tony's vacant chair, looking around him. Thor was still out of it, Steve and Loki were looking in opposite directions and Tony was between Pepper and Clint, stumbling his way to the cab.

"Thanks Natasha. I'll see you back there."

"I won't be back tonight, but I'll see you tomorrow okay? Good luck." She kissed Pepper on the cheek, putting an umbrella over the pair until they got into the back. She shut the door, walking back inside.

"I am gonna kill you." Pepper squeezed Tony's hand, who had slumped up against her. He felt a huge headache coming on as he realised what he had just done. But he couldn't process it properly, he was too tired. All he could manage was two words.

"I'm s-sorry." Pepper squeezed his hand again. There was something up with him, she would know. Just what was it? He hadn't been right for a while, missing classes, not joining them for note nights, get-togethers, take-ins. She knew it was just the drink, but what lay beneath hadn't been missed by her.

The cab driver helped her with him into her flat. She put him in her bed, and she slept in Natasha's. He'd need a good night's sleep before they could talk. She loved him so much, they were together since she could remember. But they weren't suited for anything more than friends…


	7. Coffee

"Good morning sunshine. How is my fiancé this today?" She smiled warmly, handing him a glass and two hangover pills.

"Shit… Aw God…" He slammed his hands over his eyes, turning his eyes into the pillow. What was he drinking last night? Pepper laughed softly, as he took the glass from her hand and threw the pills down with a huge gulp. She took the glass back, and he raised the covers over his eyes.

"Did I really do that?" It was all coming back to him. How could he have been so stupid?

"Uhuh."

"Can I stay under here?"

"No. C'mon, we have to talk Tony. You're my best friend, you know you can tell me anything right?"

Tony didn't move, only held the covers where they were. He didn't feel awkward around her, because, as he thanked the heavens for it, Pepper was the only person he wouldn't feel awkward around after drunkenly mock-proposing to her.

"Tony." She was getting impatient. He slowly pulled the covers down. His hair was flat against his head, a fringe forming on his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot, but the chocolate orbs looked brightly up at her. Her perfect eyebrows were risen, expectant.

"I honestly, have no idea, why…"

"It's alright, I understand, but Tony, what's wrong, really?" Tony swallowed, he didn't want to tell Pepper, he knew her to well. She'd become all emotional and run up and hit Steve and then Loki would ask questions and she wouldn't be able to help herself and he would be in a terrible state and he couldn't bear to see Loki like that, just because he had been so selfish and told Pepper before he told him. He had formulated a plan. He would get rid of Steve. He would do whatever he could. It'd be a clean break, at least it wouldn't be as bad than if he found out Steve had cheated on him, with his roommate.

"Look, Pepper. You know I would tell you anything, but please, let me figure this out on my own, okay? Please?" Pepper only looked at him, worried. But she found a strange strength in his voice, and decided to let it be, for now.

"Fine. Okay, but Tony of this gets any worse I'm calling your mom."

"Pepper" Tony protested, but she put her fingers over his lips, shushing him.

"Stop, now get up and get some breakfast. I made you a smoothies and some bacon. Best hangover cure, and you know it."

He sniffed the air, smelling the bacon. He didn't feel like eating, but he would, for her sake. She was always so worried. "Smells great." He shifted, leaning out from the bed and shoving his pants on.

"Who's Janice?"

"What?"

"Or is it Janice? No… it says James!"

"Oh god him… he thought I was gay and gave me his number… I think he wanted me to call him."

"You think? God you are so insensitive." She looked stern, but giggled when she saw the sudden look of shock on Tony's face, who had obviously taken it to heart. His expression quickly changed to annoyance, chucking a pillow at her. She squealed, running back against the wall and guarding her head with it as she caught it.

"Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?" Loki looked into the bedroom from the door frame.

"Loki!" Tony shouted, as Loki quickly wheeled around. So it was true he thought, he felt a quick pang of something in his chest.

"No wait Loki! No no no! Don't worry we're not engaged. Could you imagine?"

"Gee, thanks Pepper" Loki looked genuinely hurt as he looked at her. She waved him off, catching up with Loki.

"Oh… so…"

"So nothing. I was drunk and a bit of an idiot. Lot on my mind. You hungry?"

"I didn't make enough for both of you." Pepper ran over to the fridge, looking for food. Tony knew she hadn't but he wanted a way out of having to eat it himself.

"No no, I had breakfast with Steve. He stayed the night… I hope you don't mind…" Loki looked up, relief in his eyes. From what? Tony thought.

"Oh. Whatever. Sure." Tony's voice was bland. Sure, why the fuck would he mind?

"I came to see if you were alive, I was worried after last night when you weren't at the flat. And if you wanted to get some coffee…" He fiddled with his fingers, not sure where to put himself.

"Nope, I'm fine. Um… you wanna hang around? There's something I need to talk to you about, coffee might be a good idea."

"I've got the paper if you want it?" Pepper piped in, plating up Tony's breakfast.

"How about I meet you back at the flat, you probably need a change anyway." Tony looked down at his clothes, they were all wrinkled and he smelled a bit. Where was his jacket?

"Did you get my jacket?"

"It's in the building, so I'll see you in fifteen minutes?"

"Yeah sure, is that okay?" He looked to Pepper, who was busy pouring out the smoothie.

"Yeah sure, now c'mon eat up." Tony's stomach churned. It wasn't just the lying alcohol in his stomach but the mix of fat frying and the tension between him and Loki was enough to make anyone queasy.


	8. What Is Wrong With You?

_"I'm in the coffee shop across the street from the library.  
Don't take too long."_

Tony discarded the note from his door. He felt uneasy. It was uncomfortable around Loki, but he had to formulate a plan before Steve became too comfortable with the idea of him. He slid into the shower, quickly washing his hair, using Loki's conditioner. It smelt like Loki, magnificent as it filled the hot steamy air. He dried himself quickly, changing into some dark blue jeans and a clean black t-shirt with white sleeves. He threw a sweater on over it. It might be sunny but it was December, and he wasn't the warmest blooded person. He legged it down to the library, and after ten minutes he arrived, shadowing Loki as he stood behind him in an attempt to scare him.

"Do not try it Stark it will end painfully." Tony rolled his eyes, taking the seat next to him. He ordered a Frappuccino from the tall waitress smiling down at him. She looked familiar to him, maybe she'd been back to the flat. She hurried away, giggling.

"You don't remember her do you?"

"Refresh me."

"Last week, about four am. You came steaming into the flat, with next to no clothes on and giving her a piggy back to your bed. Where was your shirt by the way?" Tony tried to remember, but could only manage a hazy memory of what had happened. He had stormed out that night, something Pepper had said to the 'oh-so-happy' couple, got slammed and came back with a pretty little brunette. Wow, how had he forgotten that? He lost his clothes on his way up from the club, the girl had ripped them off when he became drenched to the skin.

"She wasn't the gentlest… In bed that is." Tony quickly explained when Loki raised his eyebrows.

"I _understood _the reference Tony. What I _don't _understand however, is your actions over the past few weeks. What on earth is the matter with you?"

"If you are referring to last night, in my _defence_ I was just drunk and not… exactly functioning brilliantly" Tony was angered by Loki's accusing tone, how would you know anything, he thought. He paused for a moment, trying to keep his sentence flow smooth.

Another waiter brought him down his coffee, he barely acknowledged him and took a quick gulp. It was so sweet, not the best topper for this mornings breakfast.

"Excuse me Tony but you have been in a horrible mood for a while now and since _I _have to live with it, I demand some sort of explanation!" Loki threw his arms up expectantly, waiting on a reply, grunting when Tony seemed to grimace at the table.

"I'm just…not…"Tony was frustrated, not knowing what to say, but so angry at the same time. Here was Loki, trying to help him, when it should be the complete opposite. He should know by now! He should, he couldn't keep it from him and he couldn't take the pity from his eyes.

"What! Tony you can tell me anything, it can't be the bad…"

"Don't try and understand, Loki! Like you know anything. I'm fine. Stay out of it. Okay?"

"Tony. I'm trying to help you"

"I don't need your help! How can you even begin to understand when you spend all your time with Steve anyway?" Woah, where did that come from? But no, this was good! Good Tony, good. Maybe he could prevent Steve from entering the flat? It was a long shot but worth a try…

"What! I am so sorry, Tony… for ever being in a relationship. How dare you? When you dated Pepper I said nothing! And you're not even dating and she's around all the time, you're barely even there! So how can you even say something such as that I ask? Honestly!"

Tony looked at the table, wishing he hadn't drank the coffee. He could feel it turning, tying knots in his stomach. A few minutes past, Tony continued to stare at the table, the veins in his head pulsing.

"Uh, in case, you haven't remembered, I'm still here!"

Tony moved his eyes up slowly to Loki, truthfully, it wasn't just the food and sweetness of the coffee that was making him act up. Tony cared for his friend so much… the words were throwing themselves into the mixture too. He couldn't think straight, was he seriously going to throw up? How can he tell Loki when he seems so hell bent on helping someone else. His green eyes innocent, round and big with confusion, hands upraised. What was he going to tell him… oh shit tony oh shit oh shit oh shit…

"Tony? Tony, a-are you alright?" Loki lowered his arms, moving his left one to Tony's shoulder. The touch was too much, Tony couldn't take the contact. He brushed it up, furrowing his forehead grabbing his hands on the table. He put his hand out flat in front of his face, asking Loki to have patience with him. _I'll be okay in a second, shit, I swear, oh holy fuck what am I gonna do? _Loki looked hurt by the cold sweep of the hand, and the now very same one staring him down, but he was still worried, what on earth had gotten into him?

_Is he ill? Seriously ill? That would explain a few things… but not the_ _coldness around Steve, the general cold shoulder to Steve when he was around. How his moods changed completely when Steve was there at all, when Steve was mentioned. If I say I'm staying at Steve's he huffs for an hour like a small child. _Loki's head was like a windmill. What was he not seeing here?

Tony legged it to the bathroom, crumpling to the floor and letting his bowels rip as it all came up. The taste was vile, disgusting, it burned the back of his throat as it climbed up his throat. He had forgotten to lock the door and Loki was there in an instant, kneeling down behind him when he was done and wiping his forehead as he slumped against the cubicle wall, then his mouth. Loki didn't bother to look at Tony really, but Tony had no problem with staring at his friend, whose long black hair draped over Tony's clean face. His green eyes were so deep, charred with the black pupil. He was really rather beautiful… Loki flushed the toilet and grabbed Tony around the waist, pulling him into him as he stood up. He leaned on his shoulder for a second as Loki's long fingers helped him into an appropriate posture, his body tingling at his touch. Tony seemed to waver for a moment before being caught again by Loki to prevent a nasty concussion induced by the toilet seat. He brought him to the sink, staring in the mirror with him. He looked a mess, tired, broken. Tony banged the mirror, Loki quickly locking the bathroom door, giving the two some privacy. Loki was too angry and completely frustrated with him to notice any other feelings that Tony seemed to spew out.

"W-what are you not telling me, what c-can be that… that _bad _that you feel you have to bottle it all up and tell me nothing." Tony leaned on the sink, looking away from Loki and the mirror. He couldn't take this. Here was his chance to tell Loki, who was allowing him to tell him anything, and he would understand, he knew he would. But whatever else was going on was only adding to the pressure. What was he doing… what had he just felt? His mind flashed back to Loki's intense contact… they'd never even hugged before… he had to get out. Now, before he did something stupid. Loki took an inch back towards him, reaching his hands to him cautiously but warmly all the same. Tony shied away from him, backing up against the wall. Loki dropped them again, bewildered, pained by Tony's depressed state. He quickly brushed past him, swiftly unlocking the door and exiting the bathroom, exiting the coffee shop, out into the open air again. He could breathe, at last. His head wouldn't allow him to even revisit the immediately previous events, so he focused his mind on working his way back to the flat. He had to think, though. But he needed somewhere quiet, alone.


	9. Ms Pepper Potts

Loki did not return to the flat afterwards, instead he stood dumbfounded in the bathroom, slowly scratching his head.

"Sorry sir, but only one can use the bathroom at a- oh. He's gone. Never mind. But… uh, just for the next time?"

"What? Oh yes sorry, of course."

The waiter awkwardly stood back, walking away from the bathroom. Loki slowly walked out, his head in a fit of thoughts. What was he going to do now? He thought he had cornered Stark, that he'd at least get some explanation this time. When he'd tried before he was shouted profanities at and told to mind his own business. How was he going to fix this? But he knew it before he said it. There was only one person who knew him better than he did. "Ms Pepper Potts."

"Hey there stranger, where's stevey?"

"Refrain from using that name it is so cringe worthy."

"Sorry captain Shakespeare. What can I do for you?"

"We need to have a little conversation about Tony."

"Oh, yes. I've been worried about him too."

"He's become so sketchy ever since I started dating Steve…"

"Oh. Well I can explain that much, at least. But don't think it means anything because there is definitely something else bothering him that I can't put my finger on."

"Do go on."

"Well, that mystery man Tony found me with, you know, last year? First year? Well…"

"_Steve?" _Loki was absolutely shocked, Steve was gay!

_"_Well yeah, he made us realise we were better off as friends and all of that which I _don't _ want to get into… _anyway,_ the point is why has he been acting even weirder than usual all of a sudden…"

"And you're sure my dating Steve wouldn't be the answer? Well no maybe not he did throw up this morning… or maybe that was just after the ridiculous amount of alcohol he consumed last night." Loki sat with his hand beneath his chin, deep in thought.

"No. There is definitely something else Loki. If it was just Steve he would have told me this morning but… he wouldn't say anything."

"Well now that you mention it… we were talking about Steve for a brief period earlier." Loki thought back to the coffee shop. The table, the sweat on Tony's forehead, his hands flexing against the table as he stood up over it, the bathroom, the sick, the closeness, the look on his face when he let him go, the relief when he caught him again. The mirror, the look in his eyes, in his face, the bags! Then, just as though he didn't know him, he swept out the door and left him standing there. "But nothing major, just that I spent an awful lot of time with him…"

"I think he's worried about you, that maybe because of what happened between Steve and I, he thinks something similar could happen to you… not that it will, he misses you like crazy. He came here the first day you two went out because he had no idea what to do with himself. So it wouldn't be hard to believe that he's looking out for you. But I don't know… is that really it?"

Loki thought over what Pepper had just said. '_misses you like crazy… looking out for you…' _ He had no idea his absence had affected him… but now he was thinking about it. He was always gone all the time, and before Steve had come along, they spent most of their time in each-others company… they were roommates of course they were. Notes, study, movies, food, nights out, when people came round in general, especially Thor. They were pretty close. But it was what, like three weeks? Not much could have happened in that space of time that he would miss Loki to talk about it with, could it?

"Anyway, I have to get going. Nat said she was meeting me at Clint's to go shopping for a special someone's birthday next week so I had better get going. Now get going, try talking to him again. Maybe Thor, they hang out a lot now too."

"Oh now I don't want anything there really isn't any need. And yes I should probably go anyway… I told Steve I'd meet him later, and well it is later."

"Shush up you're getting something. Okay have fun you two." She kissed him on the cheek, opening the door for him and saying their goodbye's she winked and simply said 'Tony'. And with that Loki set out to Steve's, Tony's current state becoming ever heavier in his mind.


	10. Locked Out (In)

"Fuck sake." Tony banged the door to his flat, he had left his phone at Peppers. He ran to the hall phone, throwing in some change.

"Hey Thor, you around?" Tony sounded shaky over the receiver as Thor picked up.

"I was on my way up to see Jane, of which phone are you calling from?" Thor always sounded slightly confused for some reason.

"Awesome, I forgot my phone and the spare key at Peppers, but I think she's out today or something whatever can you make it up?"

"I'm sorry Stark, I have to go, I promised… Sorry!"

Tony sighed rubbing his forehead. Who else could he call? He really needed to throw up again, and the heat in the corridor was suffocating.

"Alright I-I'll figure it out. Seeya." He hung up before Thor could say anything, slamming it on the box. He slapped his knees, coming up slowly to see a pair of red brogues, black jeans and finally, a blue jumper.

"You need in?"

Tony glared at him but he was feeling dizzy, swaying a bit. How the hell could he be here? How could he have the phone key? Wonderful, he was completely at his mercy. He stood up straight, battling the swaying with all his might and somehow finding the strength to grimace.

"If it's not too much trouble, I'd prefer if you'd to open it and just go."

Steve fiddled the phone in his hand, biting his lip. "I know things haven't been… I mean I'm sorry I didn't call… But it's just… well I guess it's been like a… day… but-"

"You know what? Forget it." Tony leaned against the wall, unable to hold his strength. He slumped to the ground his head leaning on the panels. "I-I'll j-just wait for L-loki." He let his eyes close, still frowning.

Steve laughed. "You're rather stubborn… it's becoming… C'mon we'll get you inside."

"J-just… go…" But Steve had already grabbed Tony by the waist, pulling him in the door. He lifted him on to the sofa, getting a soft towel and dampening it, placing it on Tony's forehead.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" He said with a smile, patting Tony's hot forehead. Tony moved his head from left to right. There was more air in here, he could breathe again. His head had begun to stop spinning and he was able to see things without them whirring past his head. Steve smiled again as Tony came to his senses. Tony gasped, it was like a sudden realisation. He thumped Steve's chest, taking him by surprise and knocking him back a little. Steve grabbed his arms, pushing them back like before. He seemed genuinely hurt, but only for a moment. He bent himself over Tony, leaning into his neck. Tony could feel himself breaking into a sweat, with Steve's lips brushing against his skin. Steve laughed a little as Tony struggled to get him off, only making his grip tighter.

"Steve, please, stop. Steve, w-whatever y-you think… I d-don't feel that way… Steve!" Steve wasn't listening, moving his hand down to Tony's crotch, slipping his hand beneath the jeans. He giggled a little, biting Tony's neck. Tony couldn't take this, not being able to move, nothing. He was deranged. He should have told Loki ages ago, this wouldn't be happening, why hadn't he said something.

"Hello? Tony?" The door opened slowly, the lock making a low purr as it did.

"Shit." Steve whipped his head around, but he was too late. Thor was already in the doorway, walking past the separating wall into the living room, seeing everything. Tony's face was turned away from Steve's mouth, his arms straining under the pressure to get out. Steve's one hand holding him down, like he was a small child, the other under his jeans.

"What. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing?" Thor was shaking, his fists clenched. He breathed heavily between each word, Tony only stared at him, pleading that he would understand he was not here his on accord. But despite the mess, Thor thankfully saw everything plain as day. Tony was still wriggling, trying to get out, Steve finally remembering what he was doing, he removed both hands, placing them in his pockets. _Should he not be hiding behind the seat by now? This was Thor! _Tony was amazed by how Steve acted, this only angered Thor even more. He walked slowly over to him, picking Steve up by his collar. His eyes were pinned on his, skewering through them. Steve gulped at the sudden contact, raising an eyebrow. He wacked Thor's arm with his, but it didn't affect him whatsoever. Thor smiled, demonically rather, pulling Steve back and throwing him swiftly up against the wall. Steve thrashed down onto the raised platform of the snug, grabbing his head and slipping as he tried to get up again. Thor was back over to him in about a second, grabbing him again and dragging him this time to the front door. He dragged him by the collar all the way down the corridor, dropping him out in the rain that had been showering on and off. Steve grabbed the wall, turning to make a run for it before Thor grabbed him again.

"If I ever. EVER. See you _near _my brother, _or _Stark again, you will wish you had never met him. _DO YOU UNDERSTAND?_"

Steve turned his head away from him, no longer looking at him.

"I said, do you understand?" Thor spat at him, enraged by his ignorance.

Steve slowly shook his head, shaking it even faster as Thor grabbed his chest tighter. Thor grunted, dropping him into a puddle. Steve stood up slowly, holding the banister for support, before making a break for it. He didn't care where he went as long as he got away from him.

When Thor reached the flat again, he didn't know how to react. He was not against gay relationships, of course he wasn't, his brother was gay how could he be? But he didn't know how to behave… around Tony… what had just happened was evidently clear, but blurry at the same time.

"Stark…?" He found Tony crossed-legged on the couch, his arms flexed on the arm of it, head in between them, eyes closed. Tony shook his head at the mention of his name.

"Thor, please understand I didn't… I didn't…"

"No please, don't, I do, I… I saw for myself." Thor responded gruffly. He stood limply in the middle of the room, not knowing whether to sit down or pat his shoulder. He decided to sit down.

Tony lifted his head a little, feeling queasy again. Thor was definitely going to tell Loki, of course he was. He'll never forgive him for this.

"Tony… are you alright." Tony sighed, clenching his eyes closed and springing them open again. He swung his legs around, inhaling quickly and looked at the ground. Steve was demented… three weeks ago, and then in two days, it had led to this. _This! _

"Last night… when you were asleep…"

"I heard all about it…" Thor furrowed his eyebrows, leaning forward on his knees, clasping his hands. He peered at Tony sideways.

Tony sniffed a small laugh, then became serious again. "He… tried the… he did the same thing… previously, before we went out. I wanted to tell Loki but… but I couldn't bring myself to do it… I didn't want to see him… unhappy, when he seemed in such a good place. I don't know…"

Thor sat back into the seat, closing his eyes and moved his hand up to his forehead. He sighed, thinking about what he was going to do.

"How come you came?" Tony broke the silence, finding the courage to look at Thor.

"You. We've all been worried, you've been so sketchy over the past three weeks. Well since Loki and him. I thought that maybe you were just angry at Steve for… y'know. Pepper told me, we discussed some things before. So I came round just to make sure you were okay, especially since last night."

"Oh. No it, it wasn't just because of Pepper and him no, but I dunno…" For some reason he didn't feel like telling Thor he had been missing Loki, when he didn't know if that was all there was to it. No, that's all there was to it, wasn't it? No. Thor looked at him again, knowing it wasn't all there was to the story, but he let it go.

"I don't think we should tell Loki. I know my brother, he won't take it well, it'll break his heart, truly. A clean break."

"Maybe you're right. He's soft-hearted with these things. Even if he can be a total bitch most of the time." Tony smirked a little. Thor smiled uneasily.

"Look Stark, I'm extremely sorry. But I have to get back to Jane, I told her I'd be ten minutes at most, and it's been half an hour. But I'll get back to you later. We'll keep this between us, understood? I only wish to protect him."

"Of course… yeah sure." Tony smiled sadly, as Thor stood up, nodding his head and saluting him before he left through the door.


	11. Back to Normal?

"Rodders, stop. Bold boy! Hey no no no no no!" Pepper half shouted half whispered at the same time as she tried to stop her half golden retriever half cocker spaniel from sniffing out Tony. He wasn't a fan of him.

"Well hello… hey Hey HEY! FUCKIN LITTLE RUNT!" There was a loud bang as Tony sprang into the air from the floor and flopped against the bath. The dog's barks during the commotion made Tony bark back in return, trying anything to get the red head away from him.

"Rodney!" Pepper caught onto his collar, pulling him back. Tony bared his teeth, growling as its paws scraped the floor on its way out. He could hear Natasha laughing in the background, making his head loll back onto the wall in grief. He closed his eyes trying to regain some sort of state of mind before he left the bathroom.

"Nat can you take him back I'm sorry I'll be ten minutes I just need to give him the keys and go."

"Ugh fine and _don't _take your time." She walked past her with the dog in hand, mumbling something about his weaknesses don't come close to his strengths.

"Tony? Tony are you okay?" She walked in down the miniature corridor towards the bathroom, looking for him.

"In here." Tony opened the door, leaning against it in the open doorway. His eyebrow was upraised and his hair was a mess. Scratch that, he was just a mess. Period.

"Wow you look wonderful. Loki came round, said you weren't feeling well. My breakfast not Stark standard?" She smiled giving him a hug. He didn't hug her back, so she took a step back and looked at him again. Tony looked at her and smiled, sighed and huffed a laugh. He walked back over to her and gave her a big bear hug, squeezing her in close. It was okay now… well at least Steve was gone.

"I'm sorry…" He sighed happily, letting her go.

"Oh, really? Okay… where did you come from?" Tony smiled again, taking his phone from her and putting it in his back pocket.

"Um… I need to go again, so I'll see you tomorrow? You should start going to class again. The three of us , Clint me and Nat are going to the common room to pass over some notes. You wanna come?"

"Nah, somehow I think I'll be okay about physics…"

"Shut up, we try our best but even a genius like you can fall back."

"Nope, impossible… Anyway I'll see you later… How long ago did you see Loki?"

"Four hours ago… or more I'm not sure… He was going to see Steve." Tony froze… what would happen if he ran into him. Oh for Christ's sake, how the hell _won't _they run into each other? They go to the goddamn same college! The pair really hadn't thought this through before they'd thrown him out.

"Anyway… I better go. You're sure you're alright, yeah?"

It took Tony a while before he could acknowledge what Pepper was saying to him. "Hmm? Yeah sure sure!"

"Okay, seeya tomorrow!" She patted his shoulder, walking out.

"Tony went grabbed his phone out of his pocket, dialling Thor's number. He picked up after a couple of rings.

"Hey, um there's one thing we didn't think through, what if Loki goes round to his apartment?"

"Don't worry. I don't think Mr Rodgers wants to have to deal with me again, so there shouldn't be a problem… is that where Loki is now?"

"Apparently…"

"Just wait till he comes back. Don't go round there it'll seem suspicious. I don't want him thinking we were mixed up in this… it'll take him many light years before he decides to forgive us. As long as… that _bastard _is gone… well then all I care about is Loki.

"Right… Okay." Tony slowly put his phone back into his pocket. What were they doing? They weren't scheming against him… they were helping him. Steve was bad news. But this didn't seem right to him. But like Thor said… it would take him until forever to forgive them… and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to tell anyone about what Steve… whatever.

He walked back into the bathroom, his head still swollen and hot. He lay down on the floor again, grabbing a towel to put underneath him while he lay on his side in a foetal position and closed his eyes. He needed some sleep that wasn't alcohol induced.


	12. It

Five Days Later

There was a loud slam of the door, a drop of a heavy backpack on the kitchen counter and the sound of a coat being slung over the back of the sofa. Then the fridge opened, a lot of rustling around, searching for something. Tony jolted awake from the door, listening from the bathroom. The fridge door slammed closed and then it opened only to be slammed closed again. A thump of the wall, a kick of the door frame, a shuffle to the seat. Tony slowly stood up, opening the door cautiously and peering into the dark corridor. He crept down into it, looking for the mystery noise producer. It was Loki, obviously. Curled into a ball on the couch, a jacket entangled in his arms. He had stubble for once, upsetting the normally smooth face.

"Loki?"

Loki sniffled, not turning his head towards Stark.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to just…" He didn't finish his sentence, only croaked out as much as he could. Tony knew what he meant, but he felt selfish. He didn't want to tell Loki, of course, but still it'd be nice to have someone there again. He sat underneath him, lying against the front of the couch. Loki punched his head gently, making Tony's head sway slightly. He sighed into the coat, it was Steve's. Tony wanted to joke but neither of them felt like it.

"What happened?" Tony moved his head back, looking up at him, eyebrows up. He closed his eyes, there was a tear under his lash. It had been three weeks, but he supposed that for Loki, since it had been a year… and there hadn't been a day they weren't together for the last three weeks. How had it taken him this long to break it up with Steve? Had Thor not made his point clear to him when he said _stay away?_ But he had been ignoring him… he hadn't seen Loki around the house this much in ages…Tony reached for Loki's hand, squeezing it. It was so dark in here, he thought about putting the light on, but he didn't want to disturb him.

"I... um… I don't know really. I suppose… I supposed he just became bored or something…" Even though he knew what he was talking about, he had to act surprised. He squeezed his hand encouragingly, waiting patiently.

"I went round, today, we were supposed to meet up. But, he never showed up. I waited for a while, then I just, I just got annoyed and cooled off in the library for a while, but when he didn't even text… well I went round to his apartment, knocked on his door…" Loki sighed, rubbing his forehead, thankful for Tony's hand. "I knew he was in, I could hear before I knocked on the door. And when I did, he knew it was me… a-and I didn't know what to do, because he just ignored me. Eventually… though… he came out. He seemed paranoid, looking on either side of the corridor, as if someone was going to… no I don't know he was always a bit paranoid. Anyway, he just looked at me, like he was disgusted that I dare knock on his door. And he just s-said… W-who are you? Stop knocking on my door, he said. He called me a freak… I tried to understand, maybe it was a distress signal. But he grabbed my jacket, and told me to clear off, I won't repeat the profanities. He said he'd call campus security… I don't know I was so confused I just took a step back, I… I couldn't bring myself to even look at him… so I just… I just left…"

Tony had just noticed that Loki had been shivering all the time, violently. He turned around and crouched on his feet, taking in Loki's form. He was soaked from head to toe, his white shirt was grey, his jeans three times darker.

"I don't mean to be a pain but…could you turn the heat up it's a bit cold don't you think?" Loki stirred, looking up from the jacket and transferring his gaze to the wall in front of him. Tony put his hand up to Loki's head, feeling the heat radiating beneath it. He was burning up, he must have caught something. Where had he been?

"Are you sure? You're life a furnace… Take a shower. You're freezing, soaked, the hot water will help. C'mon you've got to get out of those clothes." Tony took Loki's two hands, bringing him slowly to a stance. The jacket dropped to the floor. Tony let go of his hands, picking it up. He rubbed the back of his head. Loki stared at it for a while, and without thinking he grabbed violently, ripping the arm. He smiled a little, then frowned, letting it drop to the floor again. He trampled over it, making his way to the bathroom.

Loki let the water fall, standing in the shower fully clothed, it washed over him. He took each item of clothing off individually, basking in the steam and heat. He thought over everything, the last month, Steve, being so happy, and now this. That night, last Wednesday. Over a week ago now, it had been so sudden, out of nowhere, that he had managed to blurt it out. He'd told him when he was in his arms, bare to the skin, Steve's bedroom, that he loved him. There had been a minute of silence, before Steve stirred. He rose from underneath the sheets, propping himself on one elbow, looking at Loki. He said nothing, he only smiled kindly, not moving his eyes away from Loki's. Eventually, after enough time had passed, he leant down and kissed Loki tenderly, but still… said nothing. He had no idea what to do, he just let Steve fall back under the sheets and that was it. He didn't even mention it afterwards, not even on Saturday night… when Tony had proposed he thought it might have sparked something. But when he asked he seemed angered. Loki tried to remind himself that was one little thing. He'd told many he had loved them before. But not like Steve… And the anger, the anger that coloured his face that night… And then the coldness afterwards. No calls, no texts, nothing. Every attempt he had made to re-communicate, there was an empty desert to answer him. The last month had been wonderful, bliss. He hadn't felt that way in so long, all he could feel was the constant stab of hurt in his chest, making him want to fall down and just let everything out. But this was Loki, and Loki didn't do that sort of thing, he was the strong, calm, collected one in times like this… most of the time. However this time, he couldn't care less about what was expected of him from himself. So he did fall to the floor of the shower, and grabbing his head in his hands he just let go, crying along with the shower. Why on earth he had ever allowed himself to believe that he could find happiness was beyond him, and it was his fault wasn't it? If he had of waited, it had been three weeks for goodness sake. And he had just spoke of something as big as love! He had been scared away, oh how he wanted to run over to Steve's now and explain everything. Wait, what was everything? He had meant everything, perhaps that was why his heart was burning like the melted wax that dribbled so slowly down the candle's. Steve didn't want in, he wanted as far away as possible. And he couldn't blame him, because it was his fault.

Tony ran around the kitchen, burning himself more than once. He had decided to make some cheese on toast, one of Loki's favourites. He had added some tomatoes and scallions, plating it up with a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows. It was the only meal Tony was able and allowed to make. It was nothing new, Tony was horrific in the kitchen. Loki came out in some sweats and a black skin tight t-shirt, smiling at Tony's food gesture. He picked up a slice, wolfing it down in a matter of seconds. He hadn't eaten all day, and he was still freezing. Tony had also left his duvet on the couch, which he did on very rare occasions. He was obsessed with cleanliness and would probably sterilise the hell out of it when Loki was done. It was much appreciated, Loki wrapped himself inside it, holding the cup steadily between toast bites.

Tony sat down beside him, feeling his forehead again. His temperature had retracted, of only just a little. He gave him a worried look, Loki didn't even bother to recognise it.

"Stop it." He spoke through crunches.

"Mmmm… I'm just worried, that's all. If it helps… I'm glad you're back…" Tony blushed, looking down at his knees which were crossed on the couch. Loki still didn't look at him, but instead put down his mug and toast. He sighed, pulling the clothes in tighter, then smiled, punching him lightly in the arm.

"It's nice… If it's all the same, I missed you too…" Loki held his hand for a second, closing his mouth and looking away again. Tony looked back up, his mouth open a little while he stared at Loki. _He missed me too? Oh my dear Lord Tony you are not sixteen._ He shut it again in a matter of seconds, smiling quickly and squeezing his hand. He felt so weird, so fluttery… this wasn't good.

"You've improved, however I can't say much about the broodiness. Still pretending you're alright? Pepper said… said you were worried about me."

Tony tensed up. He had tried to avoid this topic altogether. He looked at him, flashed a smile and kept his gaze.

"Sure… how could I not be? You cried along with finding nemo. Anyway, I think you should be focusing your mind on more constructive things than _Steve Rodgers." _Wow I am a good liar, he thought. Loki smiled, but it made Tony feel like dirt. Lying to him felt sleazy, detestable. But he wanted to protect him just as much as Thor, even if he felt he could tell him of his grim, dark even secrets, this was one he could not and would not share.

"You shaved." Tony said, in a weak effort to break the silence. He couldn't lie, Loki's steady breathing in the continuing silence was turning him on. _God how bad did I get? Getting turned on by respiration… _Loki turned, his head held high but his eyes looking at Tony's feet, lashes pointing down. _Fuck sake I really want to kiss you… shit what am I doing._

"Yeah… I guess it helped, in a way. It was only him that liked it." Tony jumped slightly at the sound. _Oops…_ "You know… it was my fault. Really… I should have waited… oh God." Loki put his hand in his head,_ 'here comes the train again, right into my heart' _Tony put an arm around him. _'The lights burning straight through the blood'_

_"_No. No no no no no, none of this is _your_ fault, Loki. No. Okay? Look, whatever was said, whatever was done, trust me, this is not on you."

"No… it wasn't just like… like you and _Pepper._ Alright, Tony? I told him something… something so stupid. So _rash. _I can't…"

"What? Loki, c'mon. I'm not saying… well… whatever, that's behind me now. But you and him, it was _his_ fault."

"Tony. I told him, that I…I…" Loki looked at Tony, their faces an inch apart. Their eyes bore into each-others. There was no space to move. It took few minutes for Tony to finish the sentence Loki was trembling over uttering.

"Loved him…" Tony didn't drop his gaze as he spoke, Loki was barely breathing. He let a tear fall, silently. It rolled down his face and dropped off his chin, falling on Tony's hand. This was too tense for Loki. He cleared his throat, giving Tony his cue to move back a little. He needed some space to think.

"I'm gonna… gonna go to bed. Um… night." Loki kneeled forward, on the seat, gracefully standing up and leaving the duvet on the couch. He turned, smiling at Tony.

"Uh, yeah. Sure, night." Tony smiled back, taking the duvet in his hands. Loki nodded his head, leaving the room and going to his own. Tony felt strangely alone in the room. The kitchen light was on, but he was too lazy to get up and turn it out. Instead he snuggled up on the couch, pulling the blanket over him, and slept. Things were beginning to get a little heated around here.


	13. Two Months Later

TWO MONTHS LATER

"Oh… Hi uh I uh um where's the door?" She stumbled, tripping slightly over the rug into the bathroom. Her long figure hugging a man's blue shirt and a mini skirt hung just over her thighs. She crossed her legs, blushing scarlet when she saw the tall lean figure, black hair hanging down his bare back with shaving cream covering his mouth area. Loki wore only a small towel from his stomach to the tops of his own thighs, seeming slightly embarrassed by the intrusion. She hung her head, looking at his feet rather than his face. Her ash blonde hair fell around her face, covering it to prevent any future recognition in the ideal Starbucks. Loki sighed recognising yet again what was going on.

"Take a right, you'll see an adjacent wall, around the corner you'll find the corridor leading to the front door. Have a nice day Jessica."

"Right thanks, how… did you…?" But Loki smiled politely, re-closing the door to the bathroom shutting her out. How would he not know her name, it had taken her three times to repeat it before Tony could remember it. He was sick of this. Ever since things had ended between him and Steve, Tony had returned to his previous self. Drinking extensive amounts of alcohol and enjoying over-night 'stays' with anything in a pair of heels. Not to mention becoming even cockier than usual.

"Hey sweet cheeks, how'd she take it?" Tony slapped Loki's back, whom had just walked into the living room. He expected him to be still asleep. It was half nine on a Sunday. Loki scowled before turning around. He knew it was said in jest but for crying out loud, almost every night some new drunken idiotic mule had fucked him into outer space, and now it was his job to look after them when they couldn't remember where the exit was. Tony stood confidently in a pair of boxers, pouring out some coffee from the machine on the counter.

"Just because I may be your best friend Tony does _not_ mean you may dump your female friends on me the morning after. Think of the consequences of sleeping around! You could get diseases, or even worse knock one of them up! How you remember what a condom even _is _by the time you get back here is extremely puzzling!" Loki through his arms up, face flushed but not angered. It was so bloody hard to get mad at him with a head of hair like that. What was it even doing? It was like the daughter from those yellow cartoons. What was it… the Simone's? Those huge eyes were of no assistance either. He should discuss tactics with Pepper.

"I didn't _mean _to bother you... sorry…" Tony looked round eyed over the coffee mug. _Pretending to be innocent won't work you little… _

"Well… don't let it happen again." But it came across like a scolding from an upset mother than the strong shouting match he had imagined in his head. He folded his arms, staring straight at Tony. Tony shifted, starting to feel bad. He knew what he was doing was a little unorthodox… but this was the first complaint he received from his rather cold looking roommate.

"Coffee? Cereal?...p-p-pair of pants…?" Tony's jaw dropped a little when Loki's towel dropped heavily onto the floor. Loki jumped instinctively to covering himself with his hands, blushing bright red and running to his right.

"Wrong way dear" Tony put his hand on his head, not laughing but smiling in embarrassment. A small 'wow' was running in the back of his mind…

"Right yes of course" Loki cleared his throat, walking past Tony to his bedroom, leaving the towel on the floor. His door slammed as he walked inside, shutting Tony right out. Tony stood for a second, trying to banish and remember the incident at the same time. After about five minutes he put the cold coffee down and walked into his own room, going back to bed. It was Sunday why one earth was he even awake in the first place?

Loki sat on the corner of the bed, pulling on a pair of boxers and a green t-shirt. His jeans were waiting to be worn on the side of the bed. Pepper had asked him to go Christmas shopping, she needed a new outfit and so did he apparently, along with some incredulously over-priced gifts for the small group she had to buy for. Oh the joys of Christmas… It was his favourite time of year, like many others, but he would prefer to be somewhere near a frozen lake with a huge hearth in the middle of a small stone cottage. Of course he was to stay in New York, he wasn't too fond of his parents, in fact it was only really Thor who visited them for Christmas. He sent his love and a few custom gifts, but family reunions were never really his forte. _Especially _not at Christmas. He was far better off on his own anyhow.

He tried to distract himself over his future 'mall' day plans with Pepper, but the look on Tony's face was enough to knock anyone off course. _Embarrassed,_ for _him. _The slightly ajar mouth, the smug surprised look on his face. His face flushed thinking back to it. It wasn't that bad really… most guys should be used to being surrounded by naked guys by now, right? Locker rooms… after football games… high school? Well… it's not like _he_ was exactly sporty or anything. He wasn't one for contact sports, preferring to keep along the lines of badminton and tennis. But surely Tony… ugh this wasn't getting better by thinking about it. There was something… strange. He was attracted to men and all but… not Tony_... Unfortunately that's the only reason I can come up with for being so embarrassed._ He would never have just come out with only a towel on… but he had been so annoyed by yet another one of those putrid girls that he forgot. That is until the towel hit the floor.

Loki shook his head, forcing himself not to think about it or he'd make himself sick. He quickly threw on his jeans, grabbing his wallet and a laptop bag that'd be good enough for shopping with. Taking a deep breath he opened the door, walking out into the room. Tony was absent, thank god. _Wait, why am I being so paranoid? It's just Tony… _And with that he walked confidently out of the apartment, heading down to Pepper's building.

What am I going to do? Ugh this is so stupid, I'm not fifteen years old. Get up and say it. But how do I even know if I really do? Oh shut up you fool of course you do. A new girl every night, pretending like they're going to be special when you buy them a drink at the bar. Whatever, I always did that anyway? No I did that before so I had time to get over Pepper. Stupid stupid stupid. It's not right! Why not? Because what if you _don't _like him? And then you've told him and you've led him on and broken things between you because he is not like any girl you've ever been with. He's a bit more sensitive in that department. _Plus _he only just got over Steve and it's just too soon. Lies, you're only saying this because you're finding ways to back out of being somewhat courageous. What if he finds someone else? What if it's too late? What will you do then?

Tony had been having this conversation with himself ever since Loki left the apartment. The last three questions replaying in his mind, _someone else… too late… what then? _A pang of jealousy struck him when he thought of that person who could be his next relationship. And then what w_ould _he do? Never being able to tell Loki felt worse than actually plucking the courage to tell him. But what was this? Was he straight, gay, bi? Or did it really matter? He was Tony Stark, he could do whatever he wanted. The last few weeks, he tried distancing himself. Nevertheless he still managed to hop right back into his mind. The amount of times he had come close to jumping on him and kissing those lips… the lust was there alright. He didn't try to think about it anymore. This was stupid. They were as close now as he was with Pepper. Why ruin that for some infatuation? Loki didn't share those feelings, he was sure of it. Best to just keep it under wraps and wait for it to pass through his system like the alcohol was beginning to do now. His eyes closed, eventually he drifted off, a little after half twelve.


	14. Christmas Presents

"Wow, yeah he'll love that! Ooh what about this? No he has one of those, it's at home I think… hmmm, we could try the other one down the street!" Pepper was enveloped in a sea of Christmas shoppers, looking for the perfect gifts here and everywhere. Loki held a small package in his hand, it was light brown in colour, he was waiting in the queue for it to be wrapped.

"I can do it myself you know, honestly I am rather good at it, I promise."

"I suppose you did do a beautiful job and Howard's present. What did Tony say when you told him?"

"Oh… I completely forgot to tell him about that actually…" But Pepper was already concentrating on a rather cute little snow globe with the empire state building and a miniature elf figurine in the middle.

"This'd be cute for my baby cousin. Aw it's gonna be her first Christmas! Yes yes and yes." She put the snow globe in her already stuffed hand carrier.

"Ugh, that's about as much as I can afford for the time being. I'm getting a bonus next week so that'll help with the rest of it I suppose. I still haven't found Tony's yet, and obviously not yours…" She looked at him guiltily, remembering suddenly of her shopping partner.

"Pepper for the last time, I'm not even a fan of gift giving in the first place… there is really no need to spend anything on me, I have all that I need."

"A-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Not another word, thank you! Do you think Thor will like this? I'm not so sure now…"

"Trust me I'm his brother I know exactly what he'd like. Actually I envy you for having such a great gift finder such as myself, I've given you all my best ideas." Pepper smiled innocently up at him.

"You are, amazing by the way thank you. I would never have known what to get Clint without you ugh I'm terrible."

"It is of no trouble, my dear. There's something I would like _your _help with however. It's about Tony actually…"

"Oh you got the hots for him already? Well I must say it's hard not too…"

"What! I-uh um-"

"I'm just joking Loki chill chill!" Loki rubbed his forehead, letting his exasperated sigh escape.

"No… well… it's more to do with his… habits. I've never seen as many girls come through our apartment before, nor have I seen him behave so reckless, like a child. I know it's just him but… I am at my wits end trying to warn him before he does something stupid… I don't know what I'd do if he… if he got liver poisoning… mugged… or something even worse!" Loki had his hands out in front of him, as though he was waiting for the answers to fall into his hands.

"You worry too much about him… but I suppose that just shows how much you two have grown together since… well yeah. God actually you're both always so worried about each other I'm starting to wonder whether you two should get together and start a family. Not to mention you resemble an old couple most of the time…"

"Pepper, be serious."

"Look, I know you know him as well as I do… so maybe if you just sit down and try talking to him, y'know? It's always worked in the past with me. But if that doesn't work, take away something like his work tools and threaten him if he doesn't pipe down. That will probably work… but, talk, first."

"Mmmm, good idea. Why I never think of this is beyond me…"

"You're too close together to be able to take a step back and properly look at the situation. Don't worry it happens with every couple. Oh wait, 'friends', sorry." She waved her hand in the air, dismissing her mistake, like it was nothing…

Loki cleared his throat, uncomfortable. This feeling he had building up inside him couldn't be put down. Almost like he was going to throw up…

"LOKI! Are you alright?" Pepper took a step back, holding Loki's hair behind his face. A shop assistant came running over with a mop bucket, raring to clean it up.

"Wow, I'm so sorry, thank you!"

"I've been doing this all week, I've started to recognise the signs… ha." The man had it cleaned in a minute, and Loki was stumbling outside accompanied by a dumbfounded Pepper.

"If you were that sick you only had to say honey, I'm not that mean, I promise." Pepper smiled, apprehensive.

"Pepper, if you don't mind I would be very much obliged if I could wait out here. You go on back in and finish up, I'll be absolutely fine, I assure you."

"Well… If you're sure-"

"I am, j-just some fresh air?"

"Alright, I'll be super quick I promise."

Loki smiled, leaning against the shop's outside wall, his face whiter than usual but his cheeks were flushing red. The air bit at his skin but he didn't mind the cold, but instead relished it. He leaned his palms into his knees, breathing deeply through his nose wishing for Pepper to hurry up.

"Loki…?"

Loki slowly looked up, his eyebrows raised, as if the last thing he wanted right now was a Christmas unscheduled reunion. The person in front of him wore a pair of extremely dark sunglasses that he could see his own reflection in, black jeans and a light grey sweater. His mouth was slightly open, standing fifteen feet away from him.

"S-Steve?" Loki was incapable of reacting. It took him a minute to recognise the situation. Steve looked wildly around him, as if half expecting the FBI to bust his ass.

"I…I shouldn't have… never mind, I have to go." He started walking briskly, not bothering to look back. Loki stood up straight, almost feeling the urge to run after him.

"No… Wait-Steve!" But he had vanished, a disappearing act into the huge crowd.

_What was that? _Oh if there was anything left in me I could get sick again. What is his problem? Does he not know when to just leave it alone. I'm not ready for that why must he feel the need? The sickening nerve of that despicable, callous human being. The bare sight of him, how dare _he,_ a man of such cowardice, malice, ever cross me. But I can't… I don't _want _to deal with it. I still… no, don't bother. It's not worth it, just… just focus on your breathing.


	15. Ye Olde Jewellery Shoppe

"Good evening, my dear. And how may I help you?"

"Uh… I was looking for some sort of… I don't know really."

"Do spit it out darling, I'm sure I can help if you only describe the problem" The older lady smiled kindly at the dishevelled looking young man in front of her.

"It's for a guy, actually. Um, I'm not really sure what to get him."

"Is he a friend, or more?"

"Just a friend, I think, I mean- a friend, yeah a friend" He felt his face flush, as he looked childishly at the elder. Her white eyebrows were raised.

"I see… And, I take it you've known this man for a while?"

"Indeed, that would be the case. He's, how you would say… traditional."

"Oh, wonderful. I do traditional well. Now, how about… a bracelet of some kind?"

"Hm… enlighten me"

"Silver, looks more appealing than gold I must say, and it is always affordable to every wallet. However our range goes up in value eventually, but here, this is a beautiful band. Not too thick, not to thin, with a hint of sapphire."

"Yeah, actually… it is pretty demure. I like it, I'll take it."

"You're sure? You don't want to have a look around before you decide?" The old lady smiled, almost hesitant.

"No, you've sold it to me, now… it's just a matter of wrapping things up."


	16. Dinner and a Show?

"Apparently… shh! Don't open your mouth about it, look he's coming down now." Loki nodded to Tony, and walked out of the picture before Tony caught his eye. He saw his back, gruffly coughing and looked back at Pepper questioningly.

"Good evening! A party of four?"

"Yes! Our other member is currently in the bathroom."

"Wonderful! A seat by the window?"

"What could be better? Thanks, that'd be great." Pepper smiled, and then pulled Tony's ear to her mouth as they fell behind the waitress and Thor. She spoke harshly.

"If you don't check up on him then you will receive the cold shoulder from me for a month and you know damn well I will do all in my power to make you feel bad even if we're not speaking!"

"Fine! Fine! Chill out a little, I'm going Christ Pepper he's just not feeling well!"

"JUST GO!" She was whispering but her voice cut through Tony's eardrums like never before.

Shaking her off he walked in the direction of the bathroom, swinging the door open and saw Loki looking into the sink with one hand keeping a firm grip on the tap. As though he was going to pull it off. He hadn't spotted him, for the bathroom was big, and the two other men present were cautiously avoiding him, seeming wary of Loki's sketchiness. Tony stayed by the door, looking around the small tiled separating wall, and studied Loki as the bathroom went quiet. The men had left and Loki hadn't moved a leg muscle but his arms were tense and his biceps were having little short spasms. After ten minutes, he finally stirred. His head moved in the mirror, slightly to the left like he had just finally come to terms with something. Letting out a sigh his arms relaxed. Meanwhile Tony stood somewhat in awe and in fear behind the wall, every minute that passed the more worried and scared he grew, of how this odd acting stranger would react.

"You can come out of hiding, Stark." Tony jumped, the hair on his arms stood on end.

"How long did you-"

"I noticed you come in you have a somewhat cocky presence you know, but maybe it was wise of you to stay back for just a little bit." He smiled, still looking downwards.

"I feel like this is a somewhat insensitive question… but, what's up?"

Loki frowned, then smiled. He lifted up his left arm and looked into his palm, a small piece of silver seem to slither in it in the lighting, the blue gem shining out.

* * *

**AN: Admittedly two very short chapters but I've been so busy I've had no time to do anything! Thanks for all the follows guys :)**


	17. Chances

Admittedly controversial in the little group, it'd be hard to say everything was alright, that the bracelet was only a sentiment, even a peace offering. Maybe if Loki had of kept it to himself, there wouldn't be such uproar between the pair, and things wouldn't have been so difficult. But such was life for that of Tony Stark and Loki, as both were as stubborn as mules and both were defensive in their own right even after realising both were wrong. It'd even be hard to say at this point what Tony didn't feel like doing. He could lash out, he really could have, he could have crumpled to the ground and felt hopeless yet again, or he could even have run out and found Thor, awaiting his back hand upon the bastards cheek. But then he'd witness Loki's reaction, a shadow of doubt was enough to run this down into the ground. For how the villain's true emotions may lay deep within for Loki, his mental stability wasn't existent. Bi-polar in cases, but what was he to do? The tension had risen between the two, and Tony almost felt his eyes brimming, yet they were just about under his control. There was a thick silence, something they were so used to was being broken again. Emotions were flying around the place, hitting off the white tiled walls and bouncing back to their opposite owners.

"Is that…?"

"Yes. It's from him."

Silence again, Tony swallowed, staring at the ground. Did Loki recognise what was happening, or was he as lost as he was right now?

"You can't."

Silence.

"…Why not?"

The tension was rising, what had it been, like half an hour now?

"Because… because of what he did to you."

"…He, has explained. His grandmother… passed away suddenly. They were close, Tony, really close. He said, he felt like he couldn't talk about it with anyone. Not even me… I-I've forgiven him."

Lying, cheating, plotting, manipulative, villainous son of a bitch. He sucked his teeth, but kept his eyes trained on the black marbled floor. What did he just hear? The names somewhat unimaginable were running through his mind, spitting out of the black, churning only to revive as even crueller and malevolent.

"No. Please, Loki… I-"

"What is it, Tony. I can't make head or tail of you anymore, why can't you just bloody well come out with it because, for once, you know, I am actually sick of it. All this drama, Tony. Just spit it out."

_Just say it, say it, say it, shout it just fucking tell it."_

"…I don't want to lose you again." _No, chicken, say it right. Don't blow this Tony, you have your chance. Take it._

Loki's face fell, but he masked it instantaneously, and smiled, sudden realisation.

"You never did in the first place."

"You don't understand, Loki, please… I-"

"You're still here! We're ready to order guys would you please just come and sit down! Honestly!" Tony didn't move, Loki snapped his head up, irritated by the sudden interference. Pepper stood, looking at the pair, she saw that both were distraught. Like she had just interrupted something private, she coughed. "Or take as long as you want… whatever"

"No, I think it's best we don't hold Thor from his food don't you?" Always the showman, thought Tony, when Loki quickly rejected her invitation to stay. But then again, so was he.

He put on a face of devastation, the best one he could emerge on his sullen features. How could he be so… dismissive?

Loki had masked his previous emotions to those of subtle indifference. Blocking out all feelings, treading water. He did not glance at Tony, nor acknowledge his presence throughout dinner. He talked and joined in, but was still slightly withdrawn from the animation. Pepper was aware, however, of Tony's apparent fallen puppy dog face, and how he barely touched his food whatsoever. Thor ate however, not finding anything wrong with his less than normal company. Tony sat, not looking at Loki once, Loki wasn't oblivious to this and tried all the same to grab his eye attention. Yet it was all in vain. It's not like he'd done anything extremely wrong, if Tony wasn't being so damn selfish about Loki having a relationship outside of the little groups' then there would be no glowering angelic faced toddler sat in front of him.

The night was endured, and barely tolerated by the two men. Pepper chose finally to leave them to it and she talked with Thor for most of the night, even chatting with the waiter. All in an effort to keep the mood light, and she left plenty of openings for them to join in, but it was a candid effort. Returning home, Tony had asked Pepper if he could possibly spend the night at hers, out of Loki's ear shot, and she had obliged, believing she'd fish the problem out of him when they got back.

Thor had driven himself back, the other three took the cab. Pepper sat in the front, leaving the two men to squish into the back. Tony's hand brushed off Loki's knee, as did Loki's knee off Tony's. It was like high school again, where the awkward feeling of butterflies swims into your stomach after that limb brush of fate. He felt stupid when at the same time they both mumbled sorry, finally settling down into a less comfortable position in aid to keep each other as far away as possible. Why had he mentioned anything, everything normal feels unnatural and awkward as be damned.

_I should question him further, I know he had something else to say. God if only I had let him say it instead of leaving the bathroom. What on earth was I thinking? It was my idea for him to say it. Why are we acting like this Anthony, what has happened here? He's refusing to even look at me, staring into the rain. Turn around goddammit! … I'll get something out of him when we get home, he'll have to answer me then. I'll bust his door in if I have to. What on earth am I doing here? …And of course there's Steve to think of now. C'mon Loki… think, think, think. _

*_Meet me on the Enquinox, meet me halfway…* _The cab driver turned up the music, politely trying to drown out the silence.

_I knew he'd never feel the same way. All this time I've been lying to the one person who I can be honest with. Myself. _Tony sighed, clenching his fists and continued to watch the rain batter the windows. He'd like to be outside right now.

_*your last breath, moving through you… As everything, everything ends, as everything, everything ends.*_

_That music is starting to irritate me, mr driver. I can't think straight. _But Loki didn't speak, he simply stared at Tony's clenched fist on his knee.

Tony could feel his eyes watching his hand, but he boldly left it as it was, daring not to move. He felt so sick, and completely ecstatic at the same time. His stomach was going crazy with the weight of Loki's gaze upon him, not to mention his head. _I should have told him, I should have said it. I had my chance-  
_A slight cough escaped his lips._  
-I love him._


End file.
